Thursday, November 05, 2009
Picture taken on the last day of school, 2009. November.
Mr Teo's last day as a teacher in CHS - more or less.
(From left to right) : Martin, Zheng Jie, Jin Hong, Mr Teo, Xiang Kai, Wee Kiat.
Thanks to Dominic (Choir, Sec1, Quitted CMC for Prefect, Class 1-6) For taking this picture using Wee Kiat's phone.

---

Today, I came up with a hypothesis.
People with results deemed less satisfactory are more happy.
Discussed with several people.
This appears to be true as of now.
Could someone prove me wrong, or explain to me why this is so?

(Not to mock anyone but it just seems to be that it is)

There was once a report, where some people said,
"When I cut myself I feel pain. Only when I feel the pain, I know I am stil alive"
I never understood their mentality untill today.
Maybe I should join them?
Ha.
If one day whenever I go out with anyone of you guys,
if I'm wearing long sleeves it should mean that I am cutting myself.
LOL

---

Ms Fernandez arranged a last meeting for all the Lit Elec students today.
To give us notes.
When she said "I wanted to give you prose for practice, that's the only way to improve. But the thing is I'm not following you up. Ya. So I don't see a point you see. I wanted to give you practice. But I wouldn't be taking you guys next year."
She kept repeating the same meaning along those lines.
It just appears to me, that she is very, very, unwilling to part with us.
She had so much plans for the holidays.
She leaving was some sort of a last minute decision.
Maybe I was reading too much into it.
Oh well. Nothing can change the fact already.

---

Anyone knows how to fix an airy falsetto? ):

---

I'm having a Mariah Carey craze.

---

CHINESE O LEVEL IN 4 DAYS :
Yet I am not doing practice at home.
Yet I am not reading zuo wens.
Yet I am not revising.
Am I seeking to drop to normal chinese? ):
I really hope I secure that 1 A1.
But hopes with no actions...
What's the point.

---

Today I logged into Maple.
I saw my good friend whom I had known for nearly 2 years now.
Ever since I rejoined maple under the influence of Taisheng, Ivan and Ji Quan.
And I found out that 2-6 has Jesmond, Benedict, Mun Yuan and Wee Kiat playing in Bootes.
So we formed a guild and there I met her.
Note : Her doesn't mean my girlfriend or anything.
We'd been like quite good friends ever since.
We'd been in the same guild after that,
Around the same level,
Training at the same places,
Lent her my equips and all.
Often people called us "two peas in a pod".
Maybe she already knows my identity... Maybe one day I'll tell you in the face.

Well.
Today she announced she was playing back after her O levels
And asked if I wanted to join her.
I'd love to.
But... I remember the difficulties I had to overcome in order to play for a full day.
And to find time to play.
I don't really have that luxury.
I had no choice but to decline.

When I told her I'm going to have a packed November with
CO Camp, Class Chalet, Chinese O, Yangqin Grading.
She said : typical elitists.
We, who study. For what? We don't know.
No doubt... I guess I don't know what I'm studying for.
I don't have any goals or aims,
Nor future aspirations.
She's right.
All I had planned for is to follow what the mainstream students do:
After Os, As, then Uni. (not forgetting NS for us)
What's after that.
I may not even use what I had learnt in my job in the future.

Anyways.
I'm sorry. I won't be able to join you gaming.
I just have so much, so much to sort out in myself.
I don't even know why I am alive.
(You won't be able to see this, I know... Unless... You'd already found out who I was and found my blog through Jesmond...)

Thanks to those who had made my Maple Memories memorable.

---
猜不透
-丁噹

猜不透
你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸
是真的 是热的

如果乎远乎近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸
是真的 是热的

如果乎远乎近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

如果乎远乎近的洒脱
是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔
是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已不想追求
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

---

"越是在乎的人越是猜不透 "
I guess it is kind of true.
That's why I decided to give up.
But. I can seem to succeed.
No matter what I seem to be doing...
Somehow.
As long as your presence is there...
I feel utmost content.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
During our first encounter you were like the sand,
what I knew of you were in pieces.
Fragmented information of you only ended up in an incomplete jigsaw puzzle.
I tried to grab hold of you but you just flowed through the slits between my fingers.
My hope of befriending you wavered.
Walking out of your life, I had left behind footprints in the sand, till the waves erased the memories.
I guess everything goes in a circle, and this time I met you again.
As the days as strangers creeped by, sediments deposited managed to add on to the puzzle, now I knew you better;
The water acted as a lubricant for friendship, which held the sand together, now I can easily hold on to you.

-


You were one of the factors that helped me break down this barrier;
But now you're helping me stack it back up again.

If I were to be the least content, that I had "Mr. Sandman" as a friend for at least a day.
Then I should be elated that I knew him for awhile.

Now Sandman, blow dust into my eyes, let me rest.
I had enough of commotion.
End my sorrows, 'cause rain was supposed to wash my sorrows away;
Instead it's adding on to the tears streaming down my face.
Let me forget.
Don't rake up anything anymore.
I doubt even time can dilute all the thoughts.

-

P.S. : Apologies for the expression problems ):
Will try to fix as time inches towards our 'O's in 2010 !

-
-
-

Always Be My Baby
-Mariah Carey

We were as one, babe
for a moment in time.
And it seemed everlasting,
that you would always be mine.
Now you want to be free,
so I'm letting you fly,
'cause I know in my heart, babe,
our love will never die.
You'll always be a part of me.
I'm part of you indefinitely.
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me.
Ooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.
And we'll linger on.
Time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're ever gonna shake me.
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby.

I ain't gonna cry, no,
and I won't beg you to stay.
you're determined to leave boy,
I will not stand in your way.
But inevitably
you'll be back again,
'cause you know in your heart, babe,
our love will never end.
You'll always be a part of me.
I'm part of you indefinitely.
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me.
Ooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.
And we'll linger on.
Time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're ever gonna shake me.
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby.

I know that you'll be back, boy,
when your days and your nights get a little bit colder.
I know that you'll be right back, baby.
Baby, believe me, it's only a matter of time, time.

You'll always be a part of me.
I'm part of you indefinitely.
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me.
Ooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.
And we'll linger on.
Time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're ever gonna shake me.
Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby.

You'll always be a part of me.
I'm part of you indefinitely.
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me.
Ooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.
And we'll linger on.
Time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're ever gonna shake me.
Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby.

-

When I reread my posts at times,
I realise I just skip past the lyrics that I copied and pasted.
What's the point of posting them then.
I don't even look at them when I reread my posts.
Why would anyone else do.
D:

--

CHINESE O LEVEL EXAMS IN :
5 DAYS!
Monday, November 02, 2009
Am I a terrifying monster whom someone would run away in sight of me?
I'm getting an impression that I am. ):

-

I STILL CANNOT GET DOWN TO DO CHINESE.

-

Today the Sec 2's got their streaming results for their Humanities and Sciences.
Hope everyone got what they desired! ;D

-

"You want to be free, so I'm letting you fly. But I'll still be remembering you, 'cause time can't erase a feeling this strong."

Sunday, November 01, 2009
Today I basically slacked the day off.

No chinese revision.
No yangqin.
No piano.

Nothing.

-

Tears once drained my woes; Now it engulfs me - the price of being alone.

My YANGQIN exam is on the 30th of November.
Today is the start of the month already.
Anxiety level rising.
Today is the first day after a long long while I'd took the cover off my yangqin ever since I'd got it tuned.
Gotta buck up ):
Incase WEI gets us to perform solo infront of the CO during dazu like he told benjamin..
Then I won't lose face too.
And I want not to pass the exam. At least a MERIT. ;D
In a way the song that I'm practicing now can be used for Prelim 1's practical.
Not bad. (:

-

Some people around me studying chinese.
OMG ><
Maybe I should too.

-

I was packing up my files on the computer as my desktop was flooded.
Then, as I moved every LIT related file into a folder, I was reminded of Ms Fernandez.
It feels like she's already gone.
She is.
I remember in Secondary 2, I wasn't too fond of her.
In Secondary 3 I realised how caring she is as a teacher.
Whenever Joshua was feeling unwell, she would know.
And ask if he needed anything.
When someone was sick, she gets them to go home.
I remember the first lesson of the year, and Yu Fan was reprimanded for just walking into class when he was late.
*Read more about this at Yu Fan's blog - 31st October post.*
I remember another occasion where Martin and I were late for class because we went to inform the Secondary 1s of the Orientation event.
Then we entered the class while they were amidst a discussion.
The class was getting the answer wrong.
And I sat down for 5 minutes, read the thing, and gave an answer.
Wow. It was correct.
And she said I was a "potential lit student".
Which was quoted and repeated by Xiang Kai, Martin and Wee Kiat frequently whenever I give a lit-like statement, before receiving exam results, or make references to daily life to lit.
Well... I got dizzy by her flattery - I think.
I guess it was then, about the 5th lesson, where I decided to give her a chance. HAHA!
Well, indeed, she turned out to be an excellent teacher.
She was the teacher which was the most unlikely to be leaving.
Why. ):

-

Most use cement to hold firm their relationship.
Others like me used cement to lock myself in.

-

It reads 1.11 AM.
Good night. (:
Happy November's Day.
Friday, October 30, 2009
People told me the write up on my dream about 5 days ago was unclear.
But no matter.
My dream, my fear came true.
In my dream, my Literature teacher left.
In reality, Ms Lucy Oliver Fernandez is leaving.
She won't be teaching us.
She won't be in CHS.
Almost cried when she announced it.
But was desperately trying to keep it in.
She was nice. She bought cheese cake for all her classes. (sadly I didn't eat, cause I don't like cheese)
Took a few pictures.

The cake with a message : Good Luck & God Bless! Ms Fernandez
A random shot. Ms Fernandez and Yew Loong beside the table.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009
如果的事
-张韶涵 & 范玮琪

我想过一件事
不是坏的事
一直对自己坚持
爱情的意思
像风没有理由
轻轻吹着走
谁爱谁没有
所谓的对与错
不管时间
说着我们在一起有多坎坷

我不敢去证实
爱你两个字
不是对自己矜持
也不是讽刺
别人都在说我其实很无知
这样的感情被认定很放肆
我很不服
我还在想着那件事

如果你已经不能控制 (每天)
每天想我一次 (想念)
如果你因为我而诚实 (我一次)
如果你看我的电影 (我的)
听我爱的 CD (电影)
如果你能带我一起旅行
如果你决定跟随感觉 (跟随)
为爱勇敢一次 (感觉)
如果你说我们有彼此 (爱一次)
如果你会开始相信 (开始)
这般恋爱心情 (相信)
如果你能给我如果的事

我不敢去证实
爱你两个字 (爱你两个字)
不是对自己矜持
也不是讽刺
别人都在说我其实很无知
这样的感情被认定很放肆
我很不服
我还在想着那件事

如果你已经不能控制 (每天)
每天想我一次 (想念)
如果你因为我而诚实 (我一次)
如果你看我的电影 (我的)
听我爱的 CD (电影)
如果你能带我一起旅行
如果你决定跟随感觉 (跟随)
为爱勇敢一次 (感觉)
如果你说我们有彼此 (爱一次)
如果你会开始相信 (开始)
这般恋爱心情 (相信)
如果你能给我如果的事


如果你已经不能控制
每天想我一次
如果你因为我而诚实
如果你看我的电影
听我爱的 CD
如果你能带我一起旅行
如果你决定跟随感觉
为爱勇敢一次
如果你说我们有彼此
如果你会开始相信
这般恋爱心情
我只要你如果的事
我会奋不顾身的去爱你


-

The third last day of school is basically the same as normal days.
Unlike the lower sec or other classes.
GCE O level for Chinese is getting near. about 12 days (approx.)
I'm not ready.
The teachers gave testpapers to do for intensive.
But I'm real lazy to do.

-

I haven't even learn finish HALF the songs for the yangqin grading exam...
Lucky it ain't my sec 4 year...
Otherwise my practical for O level would be equal to : SCREWED.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Once I reached home I was TIRED.
Didn't do much... That's the thing.
But I guess many other people will be dead beat by now, staying up last night watching soccer.
Got a shock at 11+ cause some people in my block shouted and cheered.
Come to think of it...
I slept at 1am.
Dots.

-

Was in the CO room today.
A cockroach fell from the ceiling onto Yu Fan.
Didn't realise what happened at first.
Only jumped to my feet with him cause he yelled.
Real dirty place... -.-

-

RANDOMing.

-

Today was the 1st day of Chinese Intensive lessons.
Boring I guess.
I have totally ZERO mood to study or revise.
Not even to do homework.

-

Sims 3 is okay.

-

The tranquility in school is much enjoyed by the lower sec.
How I wish I had learnt to treasure my time then.
I remember complaining how slow time was moving in lower sec.
And never really treasured the post exam period to slack.
Now that I'm in sec3.
This year seemed to have flew past.
Omg.
It seems only about a month ago when I looked at the class posting results.
It seems only about a month ago where I first realised who was in my class.
It seems only about a month ago where I first realised there were many people who I knew taking MUSIC.
It seems only about a month ago where I had no clue about what my subject teacher's looked like.
It seems only about a month ago where 3-9 moved up to the 5th floor for awhile. How silent it was. Quiet. Lovely silence. We'll get to enjoy it next year. (:
It seems only about a month ago where SYF and the Sec 4's left my life.
It seems only about a month ago when I got involved in CO's exco stuff.
It seems only about a month ago I was worrying for CHINESE O LEVEL ORAL.
It seems only about a month ago where FANTS was created.
It seems only about a month ago when I finally attempted to tear down the barriers I had put up for myself.

It seems only about a month ago when actually the whole year had already flew past.
A short and fulfilling year.
Enjoyed it.
Thank you everyone who had been part of it. (:
Happy 2009. (:

Wonder why this is here. I think there'll be a similar one on the eve of 2010! Haha!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thinking back on some dreams, they seem to be in black and white.

-

We were in class that day.
It seemed rather bright, in contrast to the other shades of black.
Then a lady came in.
She looked familiar - she was the one recurring in my dreams.
That day when I awoke, I could remember.
She said she was replacing my previous teacher.
I was furious, and bewildered.
Why.
Everything seemed to have been going well.
She had also been hinting that she was continuing to follow us up to secondary 4.
I demanded to see the previous teacher, and to have her back.
But the only thing I brought back to myself is embarrassment and guilt.
The class was staring at me once more.
Shocked at my reaction.
I didn't know why I was reacting that way as well.
A few days had passed.
Finally the new teacher started teaching.
At that point of time the class and I had already seemed to have accepted her.
And we pointed out the way the previous teacher thought so that we wouldn't have any hanging strands of information.
That day when we were returning home.
It seemed to be a place below the MRT tracks, where the bicycle poles are.
Then I saw my current teacher speaking to a familiar face : My previous teacher.
She came up to me, and asked how I was doing.
She heard that I had threw a temper when I found out she had stopped teaching us.
I remember crying in the dream.
In real life she wasn't so tall.
But there, she was standing over me, crouching over me.
Yet I don't remember feeling intimidated.
All I remember is me crying, begging for her to return.
But she denied my request.
That night, I was still crying, peering out the window.
I think my dream-like state ended here, as my view zoomed outwards.
After zooming out, I saw my previous teacher was peering out of hers as well, somewhere far away.
There I knew it was a dream, and I shook awake.
I was lying on bed.
Remembering that I cried in the dream.
I wondered if I was crying while I was sleeping.
I don't think I did.
But my eyes were sore.
Lying there, thinking about what I just dreamt about.
My tears flowed uncontrollably.
I don't know what had happened or came over me.
Even though I knew it was a dream.
...
For something to have evoked such strong emotions within me.
Probably there's a meaning.
Maybe the teacher is really leaving.
Maybe it signifies the "leaving" of my current results for that subject.
Maybe it has something to do with that woman who replaced my teacher.
She had been recurring in my other dreams as well.
Though I don't remember them.
Except that I know she was in them.

Dreams.
Ouch.

I don't really remember my dreams well.
I doubt anyone do.
Except those that have a real hard impact and strong hit on us.
This one, had.

I have no idea why I would dream of something like that.
But...
Before deciding to take a nap.
I felt real real unhappy.
I was attempting to take the chance to use that emotions to complete my composition.
But failed.
Because there were too many ideas, and the melodies seem to be plagiarized.
Then I got too tired, but still unhappy.
So... maybe it cause me to dream of that... LOL.


-

Term 4 Results Tally :
English : 65
Chinese : 75 (SA2, not mock exam)
Elementary Mathematics : 83
Additional Mathematics : 85
Physics : 67
Chemistry : 68
Biology : 75
Music : 73
Social Studies + Elective Literature : 85 ( ss 88%, elit 81% )

Some subjects maintained, some subjects improved.

I'm quite happy for SS + ELIT.
At the start of the year, I got 50 something.
SS didn't do well for whole component.
And ELIT didn't write the word "irony" and only got a passing mark.

E maths MAINTAINED :D
A maths i managed to bring back to 80% from term 3's setback.

Music... more or less maintained... but.
... What's the point... Something's wrong.... ):

Biology there's a dip in my results.
But... I'm not sure whether my results for it this time is ok?

Chemistry... Is one subject that I feel bad for.
I got 80% for my chem in term 1.
And subsequent terms it started dropping.
I guess I need to buck up.

Physics I DON'T KNOW.

CHINESE : I hope I do well for O LEVELS.

English : there's much to do, but I don't feel like doing anything.

I guess compared to some, my results this time are rather good.
But there's always room for improvement.
一山还有一山高, 强中更有强中手.

To those who hadn't really done well this term.
Don't fret.
As long as you don't give up.
There's always another chance for success. (:

-

I realised I haven't updated for awhile.
Wonder why.
I'm like free.
I don't have any homework.
Nor did any homework.
Or prepare anything for the meeting =.=
Whatever.
I really got some problem.
Haha.
WASTING TIME.
SLEEPING.
SITTING INFRONT OF THE COM highlighting the icons. LMAO.

-

meaningless.

-

Despite lies being an integral part of our life,
I still wish you could find out how I really feel.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
When You Believe
-Whitney Houston & Mariah Carey

Many nights we prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hope for a song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know theres much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could, whoa, yes
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe somehow you will
You will when you believe
[mmmmmmmmmyeah]
Mmmyeah
In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer bird
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now Im standing here
My hearts so full, I can't explain
Seeking faith and speakin' words
I never thought I'd say
There can be miracles
When you believe (when you believe)
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill (mmm)
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve (you can achieve)
When you believe somehow you will
You will when you believe
[hey]
[ooh]
They dont always happen when you ask
And its easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see the way, get through the rain
A small but still, resilient voice
Says hope is very near, oh [oh]
There can be miracles (miracles)
When you believe (boy, when you believe, yeah) [though hope is frail]
Though hope is frail [its hard]
Its hard to kill (hard to kill, oh, yeah)
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve (you can achieve, oh)
When you believe somehow you will (somehow, somehow, somehow)
Somehow you will (I know, I know, know)
You will when you believe [when you]
(ohoh)
[you will when you]
(you will when you believe)
[oohoohooh]
[oh...oh]
[when you believe]
[when you believe]


-

Credits to a bookmark :

Living in a Grateful World.
Be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you, for they have reinforced your determination.
Be grateful to those who have deceived you, for they have deepened your insight.
Be grateful to those who have hit you, for they have reduced your karmic obstacles.
Be grateful to those who have abandoned you, for they have taught you to be
independent.
Be grateful to those who have made you stumble, for they have strengthened your ability.
Be grateful to those who have denounced you, for they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

Though it makes sense.
I doubt I can do so.


-

Maple gave me false hopes again. ):

-

I'm real bored.
I tried composing something.
But the melodic lines wouldn't connect no matter what I do.

-

I tried changing things.
But it seems like they will never be able to turn to fit things.

-

Outcasted.
I just don't fit in there.
But I'll lay my faith in fate.
There's a reason why I don't.
For the best of me, or someone else.


-

Anyone tried The Sims 3?
Is it only can control one Sim? And if you want to change to control someone else, you have to restart the game? How is it compared to The Sims 2?
© 2004/2007 qian. all rights reserved.